Parasocial Relationships & Boundaries

Disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist, but I have some thoughts on this topic.

We’ll go over what a parasocial relationship is and what you can do to keep boundaries in check.

What is a Parasocial relationship?

When one person forms a bond with you when you are unaware or don’t realize it’s happening until later on.

This term came about in 1956 by two sociologists, Donald Horton, and Richard Wohl.  We’ve seen this in TV, movies, news, even teachers or doctors. How did you feel when certain celebrities die? You didn’t personally know them, but you may have seen them daily, or on a regular basis and you formed some type of connection. As a streamer, every time you go live, you have viewers that are doing the same.

These types of relationships aren’t bad, until they are. They can be used for good, or bad like anything else. This is why boundaries are important.

Being in the public eye is tough. You want to be there and your audience will see you for a short time or throughout their lives. A viewer may watch you consistently, and an attachment forms from habit.

According to https://www.resiliencelab.us/ there are three levels of parasocial relationships..

Entertainment - Social
Intense - Personal
Borderline - Pathological

It’s important to understand this so you can make the right decision for you and your channel.

Setting Boundaries:

Every so often I’ll see a streamer ask when they should ban someone when they feel uncomfortable, when mods try to take over, or when viewers say mean things in chat, etc. You shouldn’t have to deal with that, and I believe setting boundaries early is the right way to go.

You can set boundaries at any time. Ideally, you have a set list before you start streaming, however, sometimes you don’t realize you need to set certain rules until you experience them being broken. It’s 100% okay to set new rules as you see fit. This is your space. 

→ Think of your channel as your home on Twitch. ←

Would you accept this behavior in your house? Are you fearing that your analytics will go down? Think about how many people could be turned off by this behavior. If you feel uncomfortable, how do you think others feel?

What do you want your chat to look like? If you’re having trouble, start with a set of values and your mission.

Add rules to your about section, your chat, and posts on your socials. Introduce yourself in a post and inform your followers about your rules. When someone breaks them, you can set a warning or ban in chat.

How I Deal With Parasocial Relationships:

I create a safe space for those that want an inclusive and diverse environment. It’s cozy, warm, and we have tea. Our channel has a Discord server and I have become friendly with many and met other streamers. I know a few personally, but even still I know that I only know some things about them. I don’t have carte blanche access to them. I shouldn’t, unless consent is involved.

Bad actors that make this space unsafe will be banned. I feel the rules say everything they need to know when entering this space. If you act up, you’re out. No warning. I made it clear, act accordingly. Am I being tough? Some may think so, but I don’t. Your space, your rules.

That feeling. . .
Lastly, trust your instincts. You know that gut feeling when something isn’t right. Trust yourself. 

Resources:
Twitch Cares: https://safety.twitch.tv/s/article/Crisis-Prevention?language=en_US

File a Report: https://safety.twitch.tv/s/article/Filing-a-Report?language=en_US

Manage Harassment in Chat: https://help.twitch.tv/s/article/how-to-manage-harassment-in-chat

Report Discord: https://discord.com/safety/360044103651-reporting-abusive-behavior-to-discord